District Court Judge Robert C. Wilcox, who apologized Friday for his remarks but stands behind his ruling, said in court on June 3 that he could not trust the victim in the case because she had sex with the defendant 10 days after the alleged assault.

"It's a word to the victims of the world, if you want justice you have to present yourself in a way that people will believe it," Judge Wilcox said shortly before finding Thomas E. Knight Jr., 48, not guilty of second-degree assault.

"It seems to me if I'm afraid of someone, I don't go sleep with them. I stay away from them," he said, explaining he sees no difference between a victim who is a spouse and a victim who is a bystander. "It isn't different. It will never be different. And I resent people when they say, 'But you don't understand domestic law, your honor.' I understand that. I understand that when human beings are afraid they act afraid."

Those comments, included in a recording released to The Capital on Wednesday, sparked outrage from domestic violence groups who fear his comments will deter future victims from coming forward.

They said most victims of domestic violence return to their abusers several times.

"The judge's comments reflect a fundamental misunderstanding about domestic violence," said Judy Wolfer, a managing attorney at the House of Ruth Domestic Violence Legal Clinic. "(They) just underscore the self-blame that victims already feel and actually might be used by abusers to vindicate their violence toward their partners."

Laure Ruth, legal projects manager for the Women's Law Center of Mary-land, added that if a judge isn't willing to trust a victim who returns to her abuser, then that judge won't be able to convict any abusers.

"That expectation denies the reality of domestic abuse," she said.

State's Attorney Frank Weathersbee said a witness' credibility is important, particularly in a case where only the victim and defendant know exactly what happened. He said it is the judge's "right" to gauge that credibility for himself and rule accordingly.

"However, I think comments indicating that if victims ever have a subsequent relationship with an abuser, then the abuse must not have happened, are very unfortunate," he said.

Mr. Weathersbee said he will continue to prosecute domestic abuse cases and encouraged all such victims to seek help from the police, his office and the YWCA.

"Most judges understand that the relationship between the abusers and the abused are very complex," he said, explaining "the courts will be helpful most of the time."

Judge Wilcox said Friday he stands behind his ruling, but after reading a partial transcript of the hearing he acknowledged he shouldn't have said what he said.

"I agree my remarks were intemperate. There is no excuse and I apologize," he said.

Lynn Krause, an Annapolis attorney and longtime friend of Judge Wilcox, said the remarks were out of character for his friend.

"He doesn't normally make comments like that," he said, praising Judge Wilcox as one of the best judges on the county's District Court bench. "He's well liked, well thought of, well respected," he said. "He has a very good insight into whether or not people are telling the truth."

The case

According to a recording of the 90-minute trial, prosecutors alleged Mr. Knight and Stephanie Hidrobo, his girlfriend of the past two years, were arguing about money Feb. 3 inside their house.

Ms. Hidrobo testified Mr. Knight punched her in her stomach, knocked her out of her chair and then kicked her several times in the thigh and knee. She said she left the house shortly after the alleged assault with her three children and went to a friend's house. She immediately reported the alleged assault and sought a protective order.

Ms. Hidrobo testified she suffered bruises to her thigh and legs during the assault, although officers did not see them the night of the alleged assault. Assistant State's Attorney Carolynn Grammas was not allowed to admit photos of the bruises into evidence because they were not turned over to defense counsel before the trial, but Andrea Padley, an attorney with the YWCA, testified she saw them a couple days after the alleged assault.

Mr. Knight also testified in his own defense. He denied hitting Ms. Hidrobo, saying only that they got into an argument while he was watching the Super Bowl and he told her to leave.

"I've never hurt Stephanie. I love Stephanie," he said.

Mr. Knight told the judge Ms. Hidrobo visited him Feb. 15 at his hotel room and that he saw her naked. He said he did not see the bruises.

That visit ruined Ms. Hidrobo's credibility, Judge Wilcox said. He noted that she received a final protective order four days before that visit.

Judge Wilcox said he couldn't believe anything the woman said if she was willing to return to her boyfriend so quickly. He also described Ms. Hidrobo's testimony as "robotic."

"At the end of the day, it is a credibility case," he said.

Mr. Knight also faces charges he violated a protective order April 28. He is scheduled to appear in court on that case Sept. 2.

The judge

Judge Wilcox, a Republican who plans to retire in August 2009, took the bench in March 1997. He was appointed by Gov. Parris N. Glendening.

Before that, Judge Wilcox served for 11 years as the county's Administrative Hearing Officer, ruling on county zoning and land issues.

While sitting on the District Court bench in Annapolis, Judge Wilcox has heard countless bail hearings, protective orders and assault cases.

In August 2006, he was involved in one of the county's worst domestic violence cases.

Three weeks before Aubrey Mayhew killed his estranged wife, Ivy, inside her Arnold home, Judge Wilcox ordered his release from a county jail. Police had just arrested Mayhew for violating a protective order, but Mrs. Mayhew repeatedly told the judge she was not afraid of her husband.

"The alleged victim said she is not fearful, but does not want him to come around," Judge Wilcox said on a recording from that July 24, 2006, bond hearing, recapping what he just heard.

He restated that at least two more times before letting Mr. Mayhew out of jail on his own recognizance and telling him to stay away from his wife.

Mrs. Mayhew was murdered Aug. 13, 2006.

Mayhew pleaded guilty to second-degree murder March 16, 2007. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison - the maximum.

Similar case

Judge Wilcox is not the first county judge to draw the ire of the state's domestic violence groups.

Many of the same groups now complaining about Judge Wilcox also complained about Circuit Court Judge Paul F. Harris Jr. last year. Judge Harris said that since a victim didn't come to court and testify, he couldn't be sure she didn't consent to the assault.

"You have very rare cases. Sadomasochists sometimes like to be beat up," he said Oct. 3 before acquitting Michael Antonio Webb, 24, of Columbia, of second-degree assault.

In that case, a county police officer testified she saw Mr. Webb throw three punches through the open door of his girlfriend's car outside a Maryland City gas station. The alleged victim initially spoke to police, but subsequently refused to testify in court.

Judge Harris questioned the state's attorney's decision to bring the case to court without the victim.

"The state is stepping into the shoes of the victim when she obviously doesn't care," Judge Harris added. "It's that big brother mentality of the state. I know it's your policy (to bring domestic abuse cases without victims), and I appreciate that and I'm not faulting it, but I have to decide the case on what I have. I think a crucial element is missing."

Janis M. Harvey, now former CEO of the YWCA of Annapolis and Anne Arundel County, at the time chastised the judge.

"To follow that line of thought would be to condone all domestic violence when the victim is too afraid to testify," she said.