Achieving Happiness: Changing your story can save a marriage

By TOM MUHA, For The Capital

Published 06/28/09

Don's been frustrated and angry with his wife, Danielle, for many years. But Don's done what lots of guys do when they want more from their marriage - he's disengaged.

For her part, Danielle says she also craves a better connection, but the reality is that she puts the majority of her time and energy into her children.

Neither Don nor Danielle is getting their needs met for attention, affection or intimacy. As a result, they both harbor feelings of resentment that leave them irritable, uncooperative and uncommunicative. Occasionally their frustration boils over into ugly arguments that last well into the night,...

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Having a strong marriage - 2009-06-29 11:54:20

Thank you for sharing that touching story and useful advice. I believe that it is important to have strong relationships within the married couple in midlife and beyond to lessen the chances of a so-called "midlife crisis." I am inspired by the work of Sonja Lyubomirsky. Writing in "The How of Happiness" she talks about five strategies for nurturing a strong marriage:
1. Making time.
2. Expressing admiration, appreciation, and affection.
3. Capitalizing on good fortune.
4. Managing conflict.
5. Sharing an inner life.

For more reflections on midlife coping strategies and happiness from a 3rd Age point of view, see http://www.happiness-after-midlife.com.

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Dr. Frank Bonkowski - Ozone Park, NY - Karma: Bad