Novelist pens work on dating, relationships after 60

They march for peace. They march for politics. But 73-year-old novelist Barbara Rose Brooker believes that American women must also march for freedom from age discrimination.

"We should wear our numbers around our necks in protest of ageism in the U.S.," says Brooker, a San Francisco journalist and author of "The Viagra Diaries," a new novel about sex and love after 60. "After 60 is a time to go forward, but all the messages we receive tell us we must turn the clock back."

Age discrimination is one of many themes in "The Viagra Diaries" (Llumina), a sort of "Sex in the City" for the senior set. In the book, which is based on Brooker's dating adventures, Anny Applebaum, single and 70, pens a newspaper column about her search for love. She meets "boomer bad boys," serial online daters, and Viagra-dependent dudes - including Marv Rothstein, a 75-year-old emotionally unavailable diamond dealer. Still, Applebaum falls for him.

The book, which was recently optioned for a feature film, is full of insight and laughter, much like Brooker. Lounging in her art-filled studio apartment, she's the cool female relative you always wish you had, the one who paints, wears funky jewelry and never stops encouraging you to write that book or plant that garden.

"How we age is who we are, and we shouldn't be afraid to hide it," says Brooker, crossing her legs and brushing back her long, gold-and-gray hair. "Age is not about a number. It's about living life to the fullest, asking new questions and always forming new goals."

According to Brooker, publishing her newest novel - she's written seven, including 1987's "So Long Princess" (Morrow) - wasn't an easy goal. "Everyone wanted me to change Anny's age," she says of the big publishing houses. "They said, 'Can't you make her 49, or 61? No one wants to read about a woman who is 70.' " Eventually, she went with Llumina, a small press run by people she felt understood the importance of getting her story out.

"I'm really sad about the self-image women have after 60," she says. "We're treated very poorly in a society that sees love, sex and relationships as acceptable between 25 and 50. The truth is that age has no boundaries. It's not a time to stop. Your spirit and creativity are so ripe. Make a legacy for yourself."

Brooker's legacy as a writer - she is most known for her popular column, "Suddenly Sixty," which ran for six years in San Francisco's Marina Times - has been rewarding, of course. She also teaches creative writing seminars through San Francisco State University. Still, she confesses, her true dream is acting. Next week, she'll add that to her repertoire when she performs her first one-woman show, "Two to Tango."

She hopes to take "Two to Tango" on the road, not only to empower women but to foster a dialogue on the impact fast-track medications such as Viagra are having on relationships.

"Sex after 60 is important. But there has to be intimacy and respect, too," says Brooker, who has been married twice (she's been divorced and widowed). "If you have intimacy but you can't physically have sex, then Viagra is a wonder drug. But, too often, I wonder if men are just using Viagra and not pursuing a deeper connection."

Though the issues are similar at any age, dating is more difficult as a senior because there is less courtship by men, Brooker says. "They want sex right away or they move on," she says. Also, men hide their age just as much as women do, she adds.

"I knew a 75-year-old man who said he was 62 so he could date someone 45," she says. "Between the easy access to Viagra and all the age-hiding, there's nothing real. What needs to happen is we have to stop lying about age and stop playing to this audience which is all about being fake and puffed up with Botox."

Still, Brooker believes that seniors are very much interested in romance. For her, it might mean moving away from boomer bad boys to the guys she calls boomer nerds. They are few and far between, she says, but they are special.

"They don't want the woman out there who's hiding her age," she says. "They're steady, intellectual, emotionally available, and they want it all."