That's it, beaver. Game on.

Critter outwits county maintenance crews

By ERIN COX, Staff Writer

Capital Gazette Communications

Published 04/21/09

Bill Murray's character dueled with the gopher in "Caddyshack." Bob Short fights the beaver.

Courtesy photo County workers Wally Cook and Carl Moulden install the Beaver Baffle System along the Baltimore & Annapolis Trail in Pasadena. The system, which consists of a chain-link cage and a length of PVC pipe, is designed to keep beavers from damming up waterways.

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It outsmarts all his men. It hides from photographers. It circumvents all the contraptions designed to stop it from damming a little no-name stream near Pasadena. It floods basements of nearby neighbors. It works at a feverish pace, besting two men at a time.

And until now, nothing seemed to best the beaver.

"The beaver's been winning all this time," Short said while standing on the Baltimore & Annapolis Trail beside the pond where his staff has battled the critter for five years. "We hoped...

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suggestion - 2009-04-22 16:24:22

can I suggest shaving the beaver?

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D R. - severna park, MD - Karma: Excellent

stinky wet beaver - 2009-04-22 15:37:40

you letter is too long Denise, but I take it you don't your beaver.

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Tina Schubbie - annapolis, MD - Karma: Bad

More Beaver - 2009-04-22 15:24:26

I feel you pain. Last fall a colony of Beaver built a 50 ft. dam on the county flood plain just beyond my property. It has transformed my woodsy retreat into waterfront property and turned the forest that is my backyard into a veritable smorgasbord of destruction. Animal Control, a division of our fine county police dept, doesnt do Beaver got their hands full chasing stray cats and dogs. The county Dept. of Public Works wont do anything about it, seems that the Beaver and their handiwork must adversely affect county infrastructure before they intervene. Building and Permits tells me that, although I need a permit for something as simple as a gazebo or a dog house , these critters can build a 50 ft, multi story condo with no repercussions. DNR and EPA are ecstatic over the boon to the environment. I called the County Executives office but hes preoccupied with his own beaver issues; he was recently sighted having sex in his county car in the public parking lot outside Nordstroms in broad daylight (This takes STUPID to a whole new level, but I wont digress to politics here).

The bureauracracy of govt agencies and regulations is mind numbing. Seems that in Maryland you can shoot Bambi but its illegal to shoot 40 pound rodents. Beaver, and other furbearing animals, rate a whole new level of torture. They must be trapped, in a submerged kill trap that crushes the critters, this seems unusually cruel to me. I never wanted to hurt them, just wanted to relocate them but it seems you are not permitted to trap and remove/relocate live beaver, no one else wants them either. You need a hunting license before you can apply for trapping school and you need to pass trapping school before you can get a trapping license - so that you can KILL the beaver. Does anyone else see the irony in this? All this is a moot point because I cant hire anyone to trap them because the dam is on county property, its just the water and tree damage that is all mine. I can apply for a waiver (all kinds of legal issues here that would require years of impact studies and the shenanigans of Johnnie Cochran (RIP) to resolve) but Beaver season ends March 15th (Yes, there is actually an official Beaver Season in MD, who knew) so my window of opportunity to do anything about this before they breed another whole litter of kits (baby beaver) to compound the problem is closing. I could adopt a coyote, a natural predator, but that then creates another whole set of issues for Bailey, my lab, and her neighborhood buddies. (She just turned 13, her enthusiasm for Beaver Hunting has waned)
I spent about two hours with a biologist from DNR who was virtually orgasmic over this miracle of nature. His enthusiasm for the evolution of the eco system that is my backyard is mind boggling. In his world I have hit the ecological lottery, an environmental jackpot! Its all a matter of perspective, I see a wasteland of dead trees (that can fall on my house) in 3 feet of standing water, he sees a brand new environmentally valuable wetland/pond that will attract all kinds of birds and fish and wildlife, (not to mention insects the size of water buffalo and tree frogs that rival the noise level of a 747). This will, in turn, bring a plethora of new plant life and create a veritable Wildlife Nirvana. Lets all singTherell be green alligators and long necked geese, humpty back camels and chimpanzees, cats and rats and elephants, STOP! He assures me beaver will only gnaw on trees for a year or two, then theyll start eating all the new plant life that develops in this new Paradise and leave the tough old trees alone. On a positive note, Ill have enough downed trees to build a log cabin, but then I probably cant get a permit from the county to build it. There is also my septic system and well to consider, one needs the basics of life, even in Paradise. (Perhaps that was the issue with Adam and Eve, but this is not the forum for a discussion on creation vs. evolution) It also appears that the topology, available food sources, water etc. make this a Beaver Utopia and he tells me that even if I do manage to get a waiver and a permit, hire a trapper (expensive because the traps must be monitored daily) and get lucky (seems the crafty little critters are tough to catch) and actually trap (kill) the critters that within a year or two I will have another colony take up residence. He recommends keeping THIS colony because beavers are territorial and they wont permit squatters in THEIR backyard. He also tells me that he gets many calls each week about beaver and I am the only person hes met LUCKY ENOUGH to have the perfect habitat for the beasts. His suggestion, put up a 4 ft wire fence along the waters edge, (seems theyre too lazy to climb fencing but will gnaw the night away through 3 feet of solid hardwood to take down hundred year old trees) and it will encourage them to go away from the house for food and POTENTIALLY keep them from girdling any more trees that could fall on my house while they recreate the Garden of Eden here in Davidsonville MD. The aesthetic value of wire fencing is just dandy. All in favor of keeping the Beaver can volunteer to help with this. Then there is the issue of the dam. It is also highly illegal to disturb or destroy furbearing dens unless I get a permit and I cant get a permit for that either (see above) and even if all the stars aligned and permission was granted, dismantling the lodge would be difficult because there is no way to get heavy equipment there so it would most likely require explosives which adds a whole NEW set of issues and involves legal liabilities and the Fire Dept just in case something goes wrong, what are the chances??? Meanwhile, the neighbors wander down to look for the Beaver and the county has actually called for permission to bring student interns on a field trip. Now Im a science project. Im sure theres a Beaver Party opportunity here to celebrate this windfall from Mother Nature but I need to get it together soon before the spring rains come, then Ill need Noah and the Ark, the animals will already be here. Not enough alcohol in the western hemisphere to deal with this. Youre laughing at me, I can hear you, stop it!

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Denise M. - , - Karma: Neutral

BEAVERS HAVE RIGHTS - 2009-04-21 17:42:46

Remember when we wanted wildlife? Back when DDT and growth, etc. destroyed it? Now that it is back, we don't want to deal with it....how about buffering up the backyards to keep the overflow from swamping them?

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linda k. - barboursville, WV - Karma: Good