Mother writes gripping story about her son overcoming drug addiction

To say 2004 was a bad year for Libby Cataldi is a vast understatement.

Her father died, her son was in rehab - again - for drug addiction, and she underwent a double mastectomy for breast cancer.

Cataldi, 58, left her longtime post as head of The Calverton School in Calvert County and headed to Italy to try to make sense of it all. She has relatives there, and thought the change of scenery might help in the recuperative process.

Five years later, Cataldi has done a lot of healing, her oldest son, Jeff Bratton, is sober, and she's sharing her story with the public in hopes of helping others. She worked for three years on a memoir, turning journals she kept over the years into a 304-page book.

"I started to write out of sheer pain," she explained. "I felt useless, powerless. I needed to get it out."

"Stay Close: A Mother's Story of her Son's Addiction" was released a few weeks ago by St. Martin's Press in New York. Cataldi, who currently splits her time between Annapolis and Florence, Italy, is in the area for a series of public appearances including book signings at a local book store and at her former school.

"What Libby sets her mind to, she'll accomplish," said Hiltrud "Ceddie" Rooney of Heritage Harbour, who worked with Cataldi for 14 years at Calverton and devoured her book in a single day. "To me, it's a very admirable trait."

Cataldi served as head of Calverton, a private school in Huntingtown, for 17 years. Calverton officials were happy to have another author associated with the school, but surprised and saddened to learn about what Cataldi went through with her family when she was director. Both Bratton and his younger brother attended the school.

Calverton spokesman Holly Reynolds Lee emphasized that the school has a comprehensive drug resistance education program. She also wrote in an e-mail: "When a Calverton family is impacted by drug use, we work to support them in their recovery and return to wellness."

Cataldi's book came about after she ran into a former Calverton student in Italy whose sister happened to be a literary agent. At the time, she was just keeping a journal about her feelings.

One of the first steps toward getting the book project going was to get the blessing of her sons. Both signed off on the project for the same reason she wanted to write it - to help people. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to a drug rehabilitation center for youths.

Bratton, now 30 and working at a Los Angeles public relations firm, provides his own insights in the book.

"I think the book will...provide some comfort and peace to people impacted by alcohol and drugs," he said. "If there wasn't such a philanthropic spirit (associated with it), I'd be much less supportive."

Both Bratton and his mother said the disclosures can still be painful.

One of the reasons is that Cataldi's writing lays her emotions bare, analyzing her actions as a parent and Bratton's actions as a son. She doesn't pull any punches, never shying away from the hard questions or the tough times, which included his arrests and numerous attempts at rehab.

"All I can say is that I made mistakes," she said, adding that at first she failed to recognize the signs of her son's drug abuse. "I thought I was a good mom. (But) I made every mistake in the book."

Bratton started smoking cigarettes at 10, moved on to alcohol and marijuana by 11 or 12, and graduated to cocaine, ketamine, crystal meth and heroin, she said.

He said the book allowed him to see how his addiction impacted his mother in a much more vivid way and to learn more about himself as well. With his life in the public eye, he said there's pressure on him not to slip. But "I'm proud to carry it," he said.

Talk therapy

The title of the book comes from advice Cataldi got in Italy - to keep her son close and not reject him or push him away, despite his problems. She'd answer his phone calls and e-mails, but wouldn't bail him out of trouble.

"No one wants an addiction," she said. "I would have liked for it to have passed us by. But we're the better for it because we stayed close. I'm a more honest, compassionate woman than I've ever been in my life."

Nevertheless, the emotions are still close to the surface when Cataldi discusses her life and her book. Sometimes, it feels like she's standing up in front of people "naked," she explained, choking back a tear. "It's like bleeding in front of everyone," she continued.

"There are all these stigmas and shame around addiction. You need to talk about the issues to heal them."

Cataldi, who has a doctorate in education and used to teach writing in college, didn't have a hard time with the actual exercise and discipline of putting the book together. It was the pain and suffering contained inside that made the task difficult.

Ray Haas of Annapolis, a longtime friend and colleague of Cataldi's who read drafts of the book, said the content makes it difficult to read at times. "It's so powerful; so emotionally-wrenching," he said. "It's a clear and accurate hard look at the agony she and Jeff went through."

Elizabeth Beier, executive editor at St. Martin's, said the book is different from other stories about drug addiction because of Cataldi's perspective and her personality.

"It's still hard," Cataldi said. "Living it was hard. Writing about it was really painful and talking about it is another step, another dimension, but it's still hard. The only reason to do it is the hope that somebody can learn something from the story."

Cataldi has a book signing and discussion scheduled for 7:30 p.m. on Tuesday at Barnes & Noble in the Annapolis Harbour Center. For more information, call 410-573-1115. There is also a book signing at Calverton from 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday in the library. For more information, call 410-535-0216, or go to www.calvertonschool.org.