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Wife fights red tape to end husband's life after tragic softball accident

By ALLISON BOURG, Staff Writer
Published 09/25/09
Courtesy photos TOP: Beth and Patrick Starr with their two children Ashleigh and Zachary.
BOTTOM: Patrick Starr, visited by his son Zachary, has been in a coma at the University Specialty Hospital in Baltimore for the past year.
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On June 5, 2008, the Starr family's life changed forever.

Patrick Starr, father of two and a softball fanatic, was playing his favorite sport when he collided with another player and fell backward, striking his head on the field.

The impact caused brain damage that put the Pasadena man into a coma, in which he has remained ever since.

Now his wife of 16 years, Beth, is prepared to let him go - but she wanted to be sure she and their children Ashleigh, 15, and Zachary, 8, are financially secure first.

"That's what he would want," she said.

Starr said that in order to get there, she has had to...

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To the family: - 2009-10-06 17:49:58

I would like to offer my most sincere condolences as you endure this tragic loss. Please know that my sympathetic heart goes out to you. I wish you many blessings of peace, comfort, courage and strength during this dark time for your family. I am so sorry that your suffering has been painfully accentuated by the tasteless comments of others on top of the financial fighting you have endured for too many long months now. Know that many more of us are sending our well wishes, thoughts and prayers your way than this thread may lead you to believe. Please look past the comments here and celebrate Patrick's life in the way he would have wanted.

Thank you for sharing your story to let others know of the undue hardship getting your finances in order has caused you. Your experiences remind us to be prepared for the chance of a freak accident and to demand efficiency from our financial institutions when it is the least they could do. Many thanks for shedding light on this problem to save others the added suffering it has caused you. I will take your story to heart as I make consumer decisions for my family in terms of our health care and financial needs.

Take comfort in knowing you are in the hearts and minds of many who are with you now as you say goodbye. Patrick is obviously a joyous spirit who will be missed by all he touched.

My deepest sympathy,

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Rachel R. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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Lisa - 2009-10-06 13:45:56

I am sorry that you and your family are going throught this. I have prayed for Pat and you and your family.

May God bless and the whole family.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Lisa - 2009-10-06 10:36:55

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. thank you for the update. I believe that there are many folks reading this blog that truly care about your family and are praying as well.

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Mary Ann Donnell - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Update - 2009-10-06 10:14:34

Like I stated before, I'm Pat's niece. I'm not going to go into much detail, and I'm not going to answer a bunch of questions on here, but as of yesterday, Pat has taken a turn for the worse. For you religious nuts, his feeding tube was not pulled. It's natural causes. Please keep our family in your prayers. It may not be long now.

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Lisa Chipps - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Good

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Negativity should be on Bank of Ame - 2009-10-05 10:54:29

You know, I don't think this article was posted for all of the critics out there who don't believe in taking someone off of life support or disconnecting someone's feeding tube. I believe that is was intended to shed some light on the issue she was having with bank of america. Everyone who has nothing but critical and ignorant comments to say should take that crap elsewhere. This family has gone through enough pain and suffering since June of last year. Leave them alone. It's no one else's business but the family's to decide what to do. If you were in his shoes would you want to stay hooked up to machines or a feeding tube until your life runs out or your body can't fight anymore. "NO". That isn't living and it's not fair for anyone else to say otherwise when you're not faced with the decision his wife is. He has suffered enough and I truly think it is time for him to be at rest. I am sorry that the capital allows for such criticism to be posted for all to see. I hope this family finds comfort and is able to move on and find peace with their decision because I believe it is the right thing to do.


Why isn't anybody focusing their "negativity" on bank of america. They're the one's who should be criticized for what they did and how they treated this family.

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K W. - , - Karma: Neutral

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P.Z. - 2009-10-03 20:22:58

I don't think the "the hyper-religious nuts" have access to the internet on the weekend. We have a reprieve until they waste their employer's time on Monday.

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T. Jackson - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Compassion - 2009-10-03 14:10:53

The Starr's decision to let Patrick go is the compassionate thing to do and nobody should question that decision. He's not coming back to this world. The machines that are keeping him alive won't bring him back but only delay the inevitable. Perhaps the hyper-religious nuts on this board need to put their Bibles down for a minute and actually have just a little bit of compassion for the Starr family and consider the pain they have had to endure.

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Pasquale Z. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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I can judge - 2009-10-02 21:52:46

The word is 'lest' not " 'less' yee be judged."


Statement of fact: This machine driven body was not really alive, and to disconnect it from the plumbing was the only rational choice.

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Fred Shubbie - , - Karma: Terrible

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Jane S. - 2009-10-02 21:30:19

THANK YOU!

Judge not less he be judged.

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Lisa Chipps - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Good

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I am physically ill... - 2009-10-02 20:11:15

after reading the remarks posted here. Such hubris. To dare to make statements as absolute truths as if you know the mind of God or the suffering of this woman. God deals with the individual heart. End of story. He needs neither you or I to make his will known. Genesis. Free will. John. Forgiveness. Furthermore, this woman is dealing with the loss of her best friend, husband, partner, lover, father of her children, alone. No one knows the profound pain she is experiencing. Instead of standing, humbled, in the face of the enormity of her loss and the immensity of what decisions she must make alone, without her helpmate, hostile and barbed, self-righteous remarks and retorts are exchanged. Why share her grief when you can climb up on your own personal cross and look down with pity on all those who don't believe exactly like you? Shortest scripture? "Jesus wept." And what you have done here is one more reason why.

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Jane S. - severna park, md - Karma: Neutral

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SHUT UP!!!!! - 2009-10-02 19:49:53

None of you religious jerks are helping the situation. Just drop it and go somewhere else with your bible hugging, because it's not welcome here. Our family has had enough to deal with without you a**holes putting in your two cents. Leave it alone and go away please. Our family does not appreciate any of it.

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Lisa Chipps - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Good

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Jen R - 2009-10-02 16:01:54

Do yourself a favor and those reading this forum, and have read your statement in the previous post; read the book of John, if you have, read it again.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Pharisees - 2009-10-02 14:57:00

Didn't Jesus proclaim the self rightous as the Pharisees, as he distroyed their temple !

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Its all your fault - 2009-10-02 13:50:25

IF you would have been a little easier on us ,God, we wouldn't have to destry your creation. If we didn't have to worry about losing our social standing, and all our money, we could just turn to You when we're in trouble. If you could have just made me more than I am, and less of what I have done, I could face these circumstances with your will. I won't live for you, God, because it's all your fault.
This cannot be! What do I have to change? Who can I talk to? The logic must be wrong! Please God, help us all.

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christopher l. - annapolis, md - Karma: Bad

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Jeez - 2009-10-02 13:47:31

This isn't Church! Go somewhere else with it.

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Robert R. what a revelation! - 2009-10-02 12:40:00

Your statement is taken right out of the word. I believe this to be literally correct in every way. Since you hve reached your limit, ill continue with more of the truth.
When you see a people immersed in sin, you know that God, being a jelous God, will punish them for their transgressions. Do not stand in the way of them and God, and let them experience His retribtion first hand, so that they will be in a fuller understanding of the Word. Otherwise you do them and yourself a great sin.
Thank you for your frank and direct honesty, I know this is a role model for us all to follow.

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Lisa's pleadings.... - 2009-10-02 12:25:26

I am fairly certain, speak for most of us. This is not Church and it's not Bible study. Take your rantings to your congregation or to a religious forum and debate away. It has no place here...or on the Sparrow story either.

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K C and Robert Both - 2009-10-02 10:29:28

This is really starting to get under my skin. This trajedy didn't happen so you two could have your little forum about religion. You two should exchange emails and exchange your thoughts in private. NO one cares about what you two have to say in regards to my uncle. Your God, Jesus, etc. conversations are not going to change my family's mind about our decision. PLEASE STOP!

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Robert R. - 2009-10-02 10:24:25

I want you to do me a favor. Before you post anything else, watch the movie "September Dawn". That's what you remind me of.

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Lisa Chipps - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Good

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Really? - 2009-10-02 10:08:39

I'm so sad to see that almost everyone's comments on here are about what everyone else should believe. We have freedom of religion. Ok, but do we have to force our beliefs on everyone else? Pat happens to be my uncle, and the fact that everyone on here is talking about their religious beliefs is really starting to "P" me off. Keep your comments to yourself unless it does something to help our family, because honestly, all you're doing is upsetting us more. I go to church, my family is religious. I really don't think it was God's will to put my uncle in a coma for over a year and make him sit in a hospital practically brain dead. Like my mother (Anne R.) stated, he's lucky he survived this long because of our technology today. Back when the Bible was written, ROBERT, they didn't have breathing tubes, feeding tubes, etc., and he would have died anyway. So do me a favor and shut up.

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Lisa Chipps - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Good

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Some more thoughts... - 2009-10-02 09:53:18

Good morning all,

I see that I am just going to have to proclaim to you the good news with no interaction from those who previously had much to say. This proclamation is for those who maybe have read the exchanges between myself and others and are wondering what the conclusion brings. I will try to do that here. We have already established that none of us are good and the bible tells us that we are ALL sinners and have fallen from the joy and fellowship of our creator. It says that sin entered the world through one man and that it has eternal consequences. We who are fallen owe a debt to our creator that we are incapable of repaying and therefore Gods judgment abides on us all. That is not Gods will for us and as the bible states His will is that all men be saved and come to the knowledge of truth; for there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man, Christ Jesus.

The bible states in no uncertain terms that Christ who knew no sin was made sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. What this does is it causes God, when he sees Christ, He sees our sin and when He sees us He sees Christ. Christ paid the fine to which we ALL owe for our transgressions if we repent and trust Christ as our substitutionary payment that we otherwise couldnt make. How this was effected is that Christ paid our fine on the cross, died, and was buried and that He rose again on the third day according to the scriptures. Thereby satisfying the debt owed to Him for our law-breaking; thereby completing the picture of His loving kindness, grace, mercy and His justice. Justice because all law breakers must be punished right?

This is short due to maximum character usage on the forum. Feel free to ask questions or for clarification. May God Bless you all and He does when we obey Him.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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No one gets the real message! - 2009-10-01 22:19:27

There's one thing that people should be taking away from this story that no one has mentioned. The article states that Patrick Starr is 45, had a good job, a loving wife and two children who relied on him. He didn't think enough of them to have a life insurance policy? or some kind of living will to help them know what to do? If he had a life insurance policy there would have been coverage for his obvious terminal state and his wife wouldn't be in the horrible position of relying on the government which is requiring that he be spent into destitution to qualify for benefits! This is the same kind of horses*it that we're all going to face if O'Bama's health care plan goes through. IT'S THE SAME PEOPLE WHO'VE COME UP WITH THOSE RULES THAT ARE NOW PROPOSING THE NEW SYSTEM! WAKE UP! Debate something of substance here and take your "god" arguments to a church.

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Fred Bralman - Arnold, Md - Karma: Excellent

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The Starrs - 2009-10-01 13:59:38

Surely God/Goddess/Creator is too great for one religion, belief structure, house of worship or methodology. All prayers go to the same place. Stop playing God and send out good thoughts to this grieving family. They have all endured enough! Mr. Starr will leave this life when called by a greater power than your rhetoric if he is supposed to survive then may it so be granted. What this issue should have been was why this photograph was published? It was as totally exhibitionist and sordid as the attention getting fetus pictures shown at pro-life rallies. In the future, less tabloid and more editing!

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M. Johnson - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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K. Swanson - 2009-10-01 10:49:06

Hello and thanks for the vote of encouragement. I give all the praise and glory to the Son.

It's nice to get a vote of encouragement. It seems that I am unable to carry on a genuine discussion (except K C) about a topic that was spawned from the tragedy in the article.

This is in no way an attack on the family or anyone else. I am not the judge but I know who the judge is and would honestly love to share the information available to all who would listen.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Robert R. - 2009-10-01 10:19:29

I would like to commend you on you witnessing. I too am a fan of Way of The Master and their ministry. It is a great thing that you are doing on here.

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PLEASE! - 2009-10-01 08:33:53

I BEG THE STAFF OF THE CAPITAL TO REMOVE THIS STORY IN ITS ENTIRETY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. This family has suffered a tremendous tragedy, and should not have to endure the bickering and disrespectful responses that have been posted on this page. I weep for those children who lost a father, mourn for a woman who has lost a spouse, and grieve for family members who lost a son, a brother, and a friend. Enough is enough. Pick another story to comment on should you wish to carry out your childish squabbling, but continuing to do so on this page is flat out disrespectful and disheartening.

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Brian A. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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To Mary ann d - 2009-10-01 08:14:14

Sorry if I offend you or am getting on your nerves. However, what would rather do: love people to "death", or offend them out of hell?

If you love someone and they were in a car headed for a cliff; wouldn't you tell them that they are headed for a cliff and take the chance on offending them or would you rather let them go of the cliff and call that love because you didn't offend them.

How would you feel if a doctor that you went to see knew of a serious disease that could potentially kill you if not taken care of and instead (as to not offend you) he withheld the diagnosis; would that be the "loving" thing to do?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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To Reason's voice - 2009-10-01 08:07:30

Since you have yet to answer the challenge (if your busy, I understand and no problem). Anyway, I want to elaborate more in response to your response thus far.

I would disagree with your conclusion about why folks are turned off by Christianity in general. It's not because of folks like me who seek to speak the truth in love. No, the real reason people are turned off by Christianity is because the natural man (unregenerate) hates God and loves their sin. The bible makes it very clear that And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. You see when folks like me who speak up are reviled it is because the evil works that man does is exposed and people cant stand to be exposed.

Like I said to K C, the works of the law are written are your heart and you knowing this because you know its wrong to lie, cheat, and steal. No one has to tell you these things. They come natural if you will. As it is written They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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K C - 2009-10-01 07:54:21

Sorry to get back to our discussion so late. I was busy last night and unable to get to a computer.

Ok so where did we leave off? Oh yea, in your last response you admitted that you had broken the commandments and that you are guilty, (just like me and the rest of the folks out there). The next question is will you go to heaven or hell?

Now before you get angry with me, lets at this point, go along with my line of questioning as if there is no doubt in your mind about the existence of heaven and hell.

Im sure you are a nice person and Im sure your family is very thankful to have you. I would no doubt probably agree with them, you have been very kind to me and I appreciate your time given here. However, the problem you now face is that on the day of judgment your family is not going to be the ones doing the judging and the standards by which they judge you are not going to be used to judge you In that day. The standard is that of God and He has given us His standard plainly in the scriptures. He has even written His laws on our hearts so that we are without excuse. No one has to tell someone else it is wrong to lie, steal, and kill. You know this because it is written on your heart and your conscience bears witness to this fact.

The Bible is true and accurate and the things I have said thus far are written in the Bible and didnt come from my own writing. It was written by over 40 people over a period of a thousand years, yet perfect in its unity.

So would you go to heaven or hell?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Robert R - 2009-09-30 18:20:13

I am quite sure that my Christian beliefs are as strong as yours but....you are even getting on my nerves. Goodness, you are judgemental.

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Mary Ann D. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Touche' - 2009-09-30 16:22:32

I will start by saying that I voted "Thumbs Up" for your last post and took 4 points off of your -8 count. I did this because we are having an honest and civil discussion.

I believe that each individual has the right to choose what they want to believe in and use that to live THEIR OWN lives.

Although in the eyes of the church, I am not innocent of any of their "laws". Contrary to the church's eyes, I AM a good person, son, husband, father, brother, nephew, etc in my family's eyes.

I give more than I care to receive because, for me, I feel better bringing joy to others. I really don't feel comfortable making this discussion about me, but the way I live my life, you want me to be your friend.

My biggest issue are the terms people use when defending their faith.

"Jesus said that whoever hates his brother is guilty of murder" - If a religous relic/document is found, we have the technology to indicate who wrote it, when it was written, etc. and if it's to the church's favor, they take it as the gospel. Is there a document to indicate he said this or are we relying on stories told?

"the fact that you are going to have to face God on judgment day" - Where is the proof that this is, in fact, a fact? There is not one human being on record to have died, have been deemed guilty of breaking the church's laws and have returned to educate the world. Maybe they are all innocent and are all in heaven.

Even though I sound like Bill Maher, I honestly don't intend to offend peope but suggest that if they make a personal decision to believe in something, try your best to discover all of the "FACTS" and judge for yourself.

Every year during Christmas, I'm somehow lead to watch the movie "The Greatest Story Ever Told" and am sometimes crossed between believing the story or waiting for proof that it isn't just a story.

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K C - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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To :Reason's Voice - 2009-09-30 16:05:14

Ok then let us "reason" then. How about you? Wanna take the good person test?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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It's unfortunate, but - 2009-09-30 16:00:24

people like Robert R. are why so many people are turned off by Christianity in general.

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Reason's Voice - , - Karma: Excellent

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Comment removed by HometownAnnapolis staff. - 2009-09-30 15:45:49

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- Karma: Terrible

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Riddle answers - 2009-09-30 15:33:55

1. Yes. A liar.

2. Yes. A thief.

3. Yes

4. Yes

Waiting for your answers to see how different we are...

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K C - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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Rick M - 2009-09-30 15:27:20

Thanks for the help. No prblem, I wouldn't think of shooting the messenger. lol

I guess it's a good thing I am not all that interested in "popluarity" huh? I was just curious, especially when I noticed it over and over.

Since it's the forum of the Capital Gazette, they get to call the shots. I am ok with that...especially since most people in foreign lands don't get the same opportunity as us Americans.

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Robert Rogers - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Comment removed by HometownAnnapolis staff. - 2009-09-30 15:21:54

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- Karma: Terrible

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Points - 2009-09-30 15:15:58

Points are given out in accordance with a person's karma. Excellent karma people will give 8 points when voting. So it can only takes 2 votes to each -16. Don't shoot the messenger. I am not a fan of the system, just explaining how it works.

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Rick M. - Laurel, Md - Karma: Excellent

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Roberto - 2009-09-30 14:56:07

To answer your question directed at me: Absolutely!

To answer your question about immidiate -16 rating: I just noticed that and thought it seemed odd. I don't think it shows that you're a negative person. You're very entitled to your beliefs and others should be able to debate it with you in a civil matter...and vice versa. *offers virtual hand-shake*

To E. Hagen: Outstanding post!

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K C - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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How come... - 2009-09-30 14:52:13

I get a -16 immediately after I post something? lol I mean as soon as I post something it shows a -16? It has done that for at least the last three posts of mine. I can't imagine that 16 people read my post as soon as I post. Any ideas? Thanks for the feedback.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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To: K C - 2009-09-30 14:34:47

Would you consider yourself to be a good person?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Re: Robert R. - 2009-09-30 14:01:36

Where on earth did you read from my post that I sit "hear" and tell anyone that there is no God? Please point that out so that your credibility is restored.

Unfortunately, the -52 rating of your post may indicate that your credibility is gone for now.

It's apparent that you are so easily offended by Agnostics or Athiests, that you read too much into things that you only "hear"...and not listen.

My faith is in my family, culture, and up-bringing where I was taught to respect and accept others, regardless of our differences. I can live the rest of my life happy as long as my family still loves me for me, and not who they want me to be.

Now my questions for you, sir:

Is that how you became faithful to God and Christianity? Because you couldn't count the number of grains of sand at Ocean City?

Best wishes to you and all that you surround yourself with!

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K C - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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Just Offering My Support - 2009-09-29 15:51:14

Wow. This discussion has gone off on a major tangent.

Regardless of whether or not there is a friendly God out there, I feel the need to lend my support to Anne R. and the rest of the Starr family.

One year ago, my husband received a similar brain stem injury. My family and I were given a similar "hopeless" prognosis. However, my husband slowly emerged from his coma and is now on the terribly long journey to recovery.

On a daily basis, I struggle with decisions regarding my husband's care and rehabilitation. I can only imagine having to struggle with the decision that Mrs. Starr has been forced to confront. I don't know how I would handle such a situation.

I am certain that Mrs. Starr did not take this decision lightly. I do not know her well, but I spoke with her on multiple occasions while our husbands were at the same rehabilitation facility. Mrs. Starr visited her husband every day, and she did her best to give him the proper care he needed to emerge from his coma.

I know first hand that the medical community will practically jump through hoops to persuade a family to give up on a coma patient prematurely. However, through my extensive research, I also know that once a patient has been unresponsive for over a year, the chances that the patient will make a functional recovery are extremely slim. Mrs. Starr gave her husband a reasonable amount of time to emerge. Now, she has the courage to let him die with dignity.

I imagine that this entire situation has been like hell on earth for the entire Starr family, including Patrick. They should be able to make the decision that is best for them without having the word "murder" thrown at them. Only the Starr family and God, if he does in fact exist, know what the best decision is.

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E. Hagan - Baltimore, MD - Karma: Neutral

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To K C - 2009-09-29 13:36:06

Want to know something else very interesting? Actually it is in the form a question: goes like this - Have you ever been to Ocean City? If so, while standing on the beach and as you gaze out to sea - I have this question for you: How many grains of sand are there on that beachhead? Any idea? Are you sure?

Exactly, you have no idea and yet your are going to sit hear and tell us there is no God? Sounds like you have faith also - but your faith is in yourself isn't it?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Faith? - 2009-09-29 12:19:16

Webster's definition of 'faith'. 2b(1) is very interesting:

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions
2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion
b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust
3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs

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K C - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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To Anne R. (part 2) - 2009-09-29 11:11:01

final part due to space limitation-

You are absolutely right, I have no idea what you may be going through, one thing is certain though and that is I feel a sense of deep sadness for you and your family. I can look into the pictures and can only imagine what Mrs. Starr is thinking and even looking into the eyes of the kids and wondering how they might be processing the thought of growing up without a dad. I am deeply, deeply troubled and feel an utter sadness, I wish they didnt have to go through this and I wish things had turned out differently. I pray for the family and ask that God would heal the pain and overwhelm them with His love and compassion, giving them a sense of peace and in time complete healing. I also pray that the kids will have a complete lifetime and that they would turn to the God and creator of this earth in repentance and trusting of the Lord Jesus Christ for their salvation.

If you think I have erred biblically, please dont just say so, prove it!!! Let others reading these forums know where we differ and if I am wrong I will gladly repent. If however, I am right and you cannot prove it, dont do the word of God an injustice. Too often people focus only on the one attribute of God and that is His love. His other attributes that people in this culture tend to ignore or arent even aware of is His Holiness and His Righteousness. Lets not forget these ok?

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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To Anne R. (part 1) - 2009-09-29 11:09:51

parts due to space limitation-

I am not sure why you think my comments were as you so stated: closed-minded interpretation of the bible is unthinking, harsh and without compassion, I wasnt attacking your family personally. If you will again review my comment I agree this is a difficult situation and I am certainly not in the shoes of the family reported on here in this story and I am sympathetic to the hardship it has caused. In stating my first comment, I was caught off by the simplicity of the headline that the paper used. It just seemed very trite and uncaring as to the preciousness of life I was purposely responding to the headline itself and using it as an opening into life and death and who determines such. I never condemned you or your familys decision.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Disproving a Negative - 2009-09-29 10:35:08

Jonathan, there is volumes of scientific evidence supporting the existence of black holes...gravity lensing, xray emissions, etc. There is not one iota of scientific evidence that would support the existence of a supreme being. The only "evidence" ever presented is that the Bible says so. And if proving a negative is proof, itself, of the existence of the Christian god, then doesn't that mean that there is the same possibility of the existence of ALL the gods of ALL the world religions?

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T. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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God and Black Holes - 2009-09-29 09:11:40

I guess I wonder T, do you believe in Black Holes? Those which occur when a star goes supernova. Black holes are readily accepted in the Scientific community and accepted as fact, yet no one has ever seen one. There existence is explained by the absense of light in the area. Why would it be so feasible to articulate the existence of them, when we actually have never seen one? You are explaining the existence of something based off, in part, it's absense.


I feel for the family in this and would not wish this tragedy on anyone. I can't imagine looking down at my wife and having to make such a decision.

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Johnathan Locke - Edgewater, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Thread Monitor? - 2009-09-28 20:14:37

Why isn't this the place to debate it? There are rarely any articles in the Capital debating the existence of god.

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T. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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This is about a family suffering, n - 2009-09-28 18:15:21

I though this article is about a family suffering the loss of a loved one and the complications they have gone through. Whether there is a God or not, this is not the place to argue it. Wait for an article on that subject. Your thoughts and comments should be with/for the family and not debating religious beliefs. What a horrible tragedy to go through. Anne R. and the Starr family, you have my condolences.

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M. Giles - , - Karma: Neutral

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To Anne R - 2009-09-28 17:00:41

Please don't listen to those Christians who ruin it for us kind, compassionate and loving ones. I will pray for you. I hope those insensitve Christians will rethink their comments..they haven't remembered to filter it through God's love, they need to go back and read Corinthians 1:13 and the entire book of James.

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linda k. - barboursville, WV - Karma: Neutral

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lindak - 2009-09-28 16:58:05

T, I am telling you, you are headed down the wrong road. 1st even if you did not believe in God, there is a God, for want intelligent designer..this world has too much order and beauty to deny it. So why do bad things happen to good people? 1st, SIN in the world threw everything into disorder, so we have to suffer, whether we are GOOD or BAD for it. We do not die and go know where. As a famous theologian put it, I rather believe in God, die and go to Heaven, than not believe, die and go to Hell. I will be praying for you T, and no I am not perfect, but I have been perfectly forgiven!

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Loving God - 2009-09-28 15:51:56

He wants None to perish, but all to have everlasting life with him. Thats a decision that you have to make. He is not going to force anybody. What kind of love is forced love? Our lifetime on earth is just a blink of an eye in compassion to God's time.

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Rick M. - Laurel, Md - Karma: Excellent

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Thanks, but... - 2009-09-28 15:15:27

I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. I don't lose too much sleep worrying about being sent to a place of eternal torment because a "loving god" wants to punish me for not believing in him.

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T. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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God - 2009-09-28 14:33:47

People have argued about the existence of God for hundreds of years. Nothing I can say, is going to change your mind or your heart. You can rationalize away all the good things that have happen in people's lives because of God as luck. You can also try and blame God. My God said to give Him all the Glory and Thanks for all things. Which I do.

At some point, we will both be gone from this earth. I hope you won't end up in hades for eternity since that is a very long time. However, I know that I will be in Heaven with the Father for eternity.

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Rick M. - Laurel, Md - Karma: Excellent

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Why Can't You? - 2009-09-28 13:57:29

Why can't you blame god? If there is a god (and I personally don't believe there is), and he is omniscient, he knows every decision that you are going to make in your life. Therefore, you are predestined to make those decisions. So, free will does not exist. Plus, I don't really get the point of prayer. If god is all-powerful, why would he be needy enough to require our constant adoration and need for us to continue to pester him for favors? Why cause bad things to happen to good people in the first place? And don't chalk it up to "it's a mystery that we can't understand."

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T. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Neutral

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Heart Wrenching Story - 2009-09-28 12:53:26

This is so sad. We don't always understand why bad things happen to good people. We can't blame God for everything bad that happens in life. We are not God and we are never going to understand why. God gave us free will and an ability to make our own decisions, sometimes we suffer because of those decisions. Sometimes we suffer, because of decisions of others and nothing that we did. Waking up from a coma after 17 years is unbelievable event, but it did happen.

We can get into a long winded debate about the quality of life. In the end, everybody wont agree with each other.

Bottom line, unless you are in this family shoes, you have no clue as to the pain they are in. We also have no right to be judgmental and harsh in our statements. It is their decision to make.

My prayers are with this family.

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Rick M. - Laurel, Md - Karma: Excellent

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To Robert R, Harwood - 2009-09-28 12:25:55

I specifically created an account so I could respond to Robert R. of Harwood, who's comments based on his closed-miunded interpretation of the bible is unthinking, harsh and without compassion. I so happens that Mr. Starr is my brother. 20 years ago, he would have died on the day or within days of the accident, however, because of technology, Patrick survived. If the family would have decided that we didn't want these measures taken to save his life, would that also have fallen into your interpretation of his family "killing at will"? Now, a year and a half later, he is lingering in a long term care facility between life and death. The comments that you have made concerning the family's decision to let him go is an example of how some people are so radical and closed minded in their thinking that they just give a standard answer about God's will. I absolutely do not agree that it is God's will to allow my brother to linger in a hospital room where he requires constant care and the indiqnity of having a diaper changed, and eating and breathing through tubes. To what purpose? Until someone has walked in the shoes of the people that have to make these terrible, heart-wrenching decisions, perhaps they should keep their opinions to themselves. Despite prayers and hope for a year that my brother would recover from his injuries, the doctors have said that there is 0% chance for recovery. So, Robert R, when you have a family member in the same situation, you can decide what's right for your family member, but keep out of ours.

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Anne R. - Millersville, MD - Karma: Neutral

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Horrible Situation - 2009-09-27 23:32:04

This is a very sad situation for the children but I am a bit confused. If she had to tap into 6 separate retirement accounts in order to spend enough money for him to be covered by medicaid then I would assume at 122k a year they were in pretty darn good shape financially, especially to pay for medical expenses themselves rather than tapping into money that people who are in very bad situations making less than a quarter of that could benefit from but are denied. I personally know several elderly people that worked for 35+ years that cannot get help paying for diabetes medications so they have to chose meds over food. I am doubting very seriously that is the case with this woman, especially if she only spent half of the savings at $122k that means she has at least $122k still in accounts as a nest egg. There is something very wrong with this picture.

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Lynn Tyler - Pasadena, MD - Karma: Neutral

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Get things in order - 2009-09-26 08:51:28

We never think that bad things will happen to us. My heart goes out to the Starr family. This is that reminder that you should have a living will for you and your family members no matter what age. You may talk about not wanting to be hooked up to life support, but unless you have it in writing and notorized, you have a long and hard road against you to fight the medical, legal and at times religious communities. Now a days there are so many connections on the internet and local hospitals to set up a legal living will for medical and death plans. Take time to get one made out.

May Mr. Starr's life end with grace and dignity with little suffering.

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K. Wallach - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Good

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technology - 2009-09-26 08:25:35

Our advanced medical technology has kept Mr. Starr alive. Otherwise, he may have passed away on that softball field which, according to how he lived his life, seems a suitable ending for someone who enjoyed the game so much. The family is totally justified in allowing him to 'step off into eternity', as God would have made it so if it weren't for our amazing medical abilities - which are not always in the best interest of the person's life who has been prolonged.

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T. Jackson - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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The Starrs - 2009-09-26 07:40:24

My heart goes out to the Starrs. Be well.

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eric sacratini - tracy's landing, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Prayers! - 2009-09-25 21:33:38

My familys' thoughts and prayers are with this family.
No one knows how you will handle this until you have to live through it. For each family this decision could be different and should be respected.
We have no right to judge this family on the decision that was probably the hardest they will have to make.
In Dec 84 my cousin was thrown from a car and had the same injury as Mr. Starr. He was hopitalized at the same place Mr. Starr is. After 13 years, of being in a coma, he passed away from Pneumonia.
I see nothing wrong with this family trying to do what they feel Mr. Starr would want. They should be allowed to get on with their lives. Mr. Starr should be allowed to be at peace. It is so hard to see your loved one just laying there and not able to do his normal activities he once loved.
I am a Christian and I believe that God would not want them to suffer this way.

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Mary L. - Linthicum, MD - Karma: Neutral

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There are no miracles - 2009-09-25 18:29:23

This is a tragic case of morality's inability to keep up with reality.

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Fred Shubbie - , - Karma: Terrible

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Robert R - 2009-09-25 17:52:50

thank you for understanding. Faith is a powerfull thing and a wonderful thing.

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M. Donnell - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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M. Donnell - 2009-09-25 16:25:50

Touche'

Thanks for calling me on that one. I shouldn't have addressed the response so personally. I should have addressed it in a "broadcast" fashion. I do NOT know your faith and it does appear that I assumed to know it...I apologize for my presumption.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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test - 2009-09-25 16:21:58

testing

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Ending a Life - 2009-09-25 16:09:17

Whether doing this way, or for a woman, an abortion, if the life is not viable, who are we to judge. Let God decide. People are not to judge(not even Christians)...I am making no apologies, I am a strong, some may say right winged Christian, but I still take into account the humanity. Some may say if a woman is pregnant and she has an abortion, she sins, but is the person condeming that person going to care for that baby? What if the mother's life is in jeopardy? Let the mother die and maybe the baby too? What kind of life would this man have...ya ya, there are miracles I do not deny, but each must make their own decisions(even Christians)and then live with it. I do not believe God will judge it...ok you all bring it on back!

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linda k. - barboursville, WV - Karma: Neutral

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Robert R - 2009-09-25 15:58:39

again conjecture on your part regarding my faith. I am sure that my feelings of faith are as strong as yours. Because of my faith, I choose to be positive instead of judging another when I do not know their personal anguish.

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M. Donnell - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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M. Donnell - 2009-09-25 15:45:27

No conjecture...I have stated on this board from my own mouth...I declared it before you and before others...that there is one God and that He is the God of the Bible. No conjecture there!!!

I agree, you can go on rejecting the only faith that saves a man...for the Bible says "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death", I implore you to read the Book John and see if these things I say are true and find out for yourself. Feelings can be wrong. Haven't you ever broken up with a boyfriend or girlfriend whom you thought was the love of your life? Your feelings were wrong. Please don't be wrong about this one eternal important issue.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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but Robert - 2009-09-25 15:30:28

one could also argue that your belief in your faith is also conjecture. I would prefer to go with Fay and her faith on this one.

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M. Donnell - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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Fay Hall - 2009-09-25 15:06:22

I appreciate your heart felt wishes. But, according to this article (pardon me if I missed it) there is nothing to support your wishful thinking. It is purely conjecture.

I am more inclined to believe that if you have faith it will be evident. Now grant it maybe not in this piece (maybe it was left out by the reporter)

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Robert R - 2009-09-25 14:50:28

I'm sure his wife has spent many hours of prayer regarding her husband. It is quite possible that letting him go was the answer to those prayers.

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Fay Hall - Severna Park, md - Karma: Excellent

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Killing? - 2009-09-25 14:44:50

It is time to let him go and boo to BOA. My mom had Alzheimers and ultimately was killed by an infection from an ingrown toenail. She was not with it and had no quality of life and a vocabulary of about 7 words. The doctor gave me the options of amputating a partial foot with a less than 20% chance of survival, amputating the foot (25%) or the leg below the knee (50%) and then he said we could just let the infection take it's toll. She was 84 and lived a good life and letting her go was the most gut wrenching and difficult decision, but I know deep down it is the decision she wold have made and that it was the right decision!

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John F. - Annapolis, MD - Karma: Excellent

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T. Williams - 2009-09-25 14:44:44

What makes you so certain I commented without thinking, because I don't hold to the same opinion as someone else? Offering a different "thought" isn't indicative of a "comment without thinking".

Hitler and Mao and Stalin thought it was "medically necessary" and a "unique situation", so is the point then that "man" is the ultimate determinate of all things life and death? I believe the God of our father's Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is the ultimate authority on all things life and death that maybe one should consult with Him via His Word before making a final "judgment" call.

Funny thought just occurred, when someone states an opinion contrary to their determined will it is called "judging others", yet to make the judgment to end a life it is somehow not even considered such as a "judgment" and is deemed ok.

I agree this is a difficult situation and I am certainly not in the shoes of the family reported on here in this story and I am sympathetic to the hardship it has caused. In stating my first comment, I was caught off by the simplicity of the headline that the paper used. It just seemed very trite and uncaring as to the preciousness of life.

One thing I would certainly like to point out and that is this: it is appointed unto man once to die and after this the judgment, we should all be very clear and certain as to the outcome of our state before a Holy, righteous and just God before stepping off into eternity.

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Robert R. - Harwood, MD - Karma: Terrible

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Think Before You Comment - 2009-09-25 14:00:38

Robert R.

Are you this man's neurosurgeon? Medical professionals and family members work months and usually years at all attempts at recovery before reaching a decision to remove a person from life support. This is not murder, it is a medically necessary decision in a unique case.

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T. Williams - Virginia Beach, VA - Karma: Good

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Comment disabled due to community reporting. - 2009-09-25 13:46:03

Why is this comment hidden?

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- Karma: Terrible

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Umm...excuse me, Bank of America... - 2009-09-25 13:13:14

...but you've got some explaining to do! From this article alone, this case looks like the epitome of today's big banks having no regard for anything but the almighty dollar and their precious system, their customers' extreme hardships and logistical logjams be damned! Did the people Mrs. Starr dealt with at Bank of America have no wiggle room and nowhere to turn to address what they should have known was an impossible situation that couldn't possibly have been anticipated by the framers of their system and the authors of whatever banking regulations I'm sure they'd hide behind were they to come out and say something?

Of course, the Big Banking issue is secondary to the enormous strain the Starrs have had to endure over the last year and a half, which the Medicaid system didn't exactly make easy, either! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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Robert R. - Edgewater, MD - Karma: Neutral

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